There is something brilliant about this story. And I mean that in the truest sense of the word. It's almost got a touch of genius. Some of the things in this tale--the dream sequences stand out, for instance--are just dripping with raw talent. You touch things here that are deeply and utterly profound. Breathtaking, really. I actually held my hand up to my mouth a couple of times. You are so close to, I don't know, transcending at a few instances. I found myself smiling, at points, that strange awkward smile that you get when someone is doing something mesmerizing, so much so that it almost makes you uncomfortable, like when you see someone who didn't initially appear attractive dance for the first time, and she is suddenly stunning, and you wonder how you never noticed it before. AMB
I like the use of real fears in your story. From the uncertainty of the unbeaten path she starts down, to the sadistic creep she has to deal with, and right down to Jeffrey himself. I'm not sure anyone could be unafraid of Jeffrey, especially in the context. You built a realistic relationship that kept me reading for more, and dropped those fears right in the middle of it.
I particularly love the imagery you used with the fish tank. It was beautiful and captured the imagination, and really allowed me an inside look at the way she felt.
~SecondCircle (erotica author)
The entire theme is dark, the setting haunting and the plot absolutely brilliant. As mentioned in the header above, I did find this weird in terms of narrative style. For me,it came off as something without a definite direction. The writing style, the dreams...I can go on and on about its brilliance. I surely didn't expect this story to have this much gravity to it.
~TheSoulfulBard (Literotica reader)
~D.E. Vice (erotica author)