Mrs. Maitland's SAD Valentine
Brad is a twentysomething school custodian, spiraling out of control, in a doomed relationship with a woman who gives a hell of a blowjob, whom he can't get off because he doesn't know how to please a woman.
Judy Maitland is a fortysomething, widowed biology teacher who overhears Brad confessing his suicide attempt to her classroom pet--Marvin, the bearded dragon. Judy enlists his help with her Valentine's Day project: mating her ball pythons.
Her plan works. Brad claws his way out of the dark, and the snake lays her eggs.
And then they discover their mutual attraction.
Judy hesitates because Brad is young enough to be her child, but Brad has his own reason to hold back. How could he expect to satisfy an experienced woman if he couldn't get Tanya off?
Fortunately, Mrs. Maitland is an excellent teacher. With the diagrams in a biology textbook and some hands-on practice, she teaches Brad exactly where to touch and lick, and . . . you know.
But when Tanya comes back into Brad's life, will the twenty-year difference prove too hard to overcome? Or will Brad and Judy love their way into the light together? And will they get the cool hybrid snake babies they hoped for?
By seven o’clock, his head had stopped pounding, and Brad was starting to feel like a human being again. He stepped into Mrs. Maitland’s classroom, dragging his dust mop behind him. He was surprised to find that the light was on. He looked around the room, hoping that none of the animals had escaped from the cages, triggering the motion sensors for the lights.
Finding nothing out of the ordinary, he stuck his ear buds back into his ears and began to sweep the floor. When he reached Marvin’s cage, he sat down to chat with the bearded dragon. “Sup, Marv? How’s things under the lights, buddy?” He paused, allowing Marvin to answer. He tipped his little lizard head as if he understood.
“Yeah. I’ve had a pretty rough week. I’m losing my trailer, my mother’s boyfriend is all over my ass, my life is a shit hole, and I think I tried to kill myself.” Marvin ran to the other side of his cage, kicking up the shavings onto the glass. He darted back to Brad, and Brad continued. “I know. It’s stupid. I didn’t realize what I was doing, but I took all these muscle relaxers with, like, a bottle of tequila.”
Marvin did another lap around the large cage.
“I hear ya, buddy. I guess I can’t even kill myself successfully. I’m a loser, just like everyone always says.” With his earbuds cranking Avenged Sevenfold into his head, he didn’t hear Mrs. Maitland slip into the classroom from the storage room in the back. In fact, he didn’t notice she was there at all until he saw her reflection in the glass of Marvin’s cage. He jumped a mile, ripped the earbuds out of his ears, and tried to stand up. In his hurry, he got his belt stuck on the tiny writing surface of the student desk and almost knocked the desk to the ground.
“How much did you hear?” he demanded. “I mean . . . I’m sorry I’m in your room. I was just talking to the lizard. Did you hear what I was saying?”
Mrs. Maitland was as flustered as Brad. “No. No. I’m just surprised to find someone here. Do you always chat with my dragon when you’re in my room?”
Her cheeks felt hot, and she knew he could tell she had heard him talking about killing himself. Her thoughts raced.
“If you heard me talking about drinking tequila and taking too many pills . . . That was just a dream I had the other day. I wasn’t trying to commit suicide or anything,” he rushed to explain. He had finally worked his way out of the desk when the dust mop handle fell to the ground with a loud crack. He let out a loud yelp, betraying his nervousness and desperate confusion.
“No. I didn’t hear anything like that,” Mrs. Maitland lied. “That must have been a terrible dream. Do you think you want to talk about it? I mean, to someone who isn’t, um, a lizard?”
“No. I gotta go. I think my boss is looking for me,” Brad said.
“Wait!” she said, a little bit too forcefully. “I could use some assistance here. Do you think you can give me a hand for a minute?”
“Uh, sure. I guess I can. I think Dave can wait a minute.”
“You’re not afraid of snakes, are you?”
Sexcerpt (XXX if available):
“Why, Brad? I’m an old lady. I have a child your age. Oh, my god. That means I’m old enough to be your mother.” Her eyes were as wide as saucers.
Brad laughed. “You’re a fuckin’ sexy old lady.” Before she could speak, he leaned into her and kissed her. Hard. Too hard. She teetered on the edge of the couch for a second before falling right on her ass. She yelped and started to giggle.
He extended his hand to help her up, but before he pulled, he said in a very serious voice, “Judy, just how old are you?”
She stopped laughing and said, “I’m forty-eight. Is that a deal breaker for you?”
“Not at all. I just wanted to make sure that you weren’t going to have a broken hip or anything.” He managed to say it with a straight face but burst out laughing as she swatted at his hand.
“Oh, now you’ve done it,” she said. She got to her feet and walked into the hallway. When he didn’t get up right away, she said, “Are ya comin’ or what?”
He grinned and followed her to her bedroom. The room was lit only by the fading daylight, and Brad looked around for the light switch.
“No, Brad. Let’s leave the lights off.”
“Judy, I’ve been waiting to see your body for months. Please. Let me see you.”
“Oh, honey. I’m all nervous and self-conscious, and . . .”
“Do you have a candle or two maybe?” he asked.
“Oh!” she said. “Even better.” She walked over and flipped the switch to turn on the gas fireplace on the far wall of the bedroom.
“There we go,” Brad said.
The warm, yellow glow filled the room, softening the edges and casting long shadows. “I got this last winter to keep the chill out of the room. I never dreamed I’d use it for romantic reasons,” she said.
He wrapped his arms around her back and bent to kiss her. As the kiss deepened, his hands went to the buttons on her shirt. She followed his cue and started on his jeans. She could feel his hardness through the thick fabric as her shaking hands struggled with the fasteners. “This isn’t working,” she said, laughing softly. “Here. I’ll do mine. You do yours.”
Brad stripped off his clothes quickly. He wasn’t worried about getting naked. His anxiety was about what would come later.
Judy stood wearing only her unbuttoned shirt and her undergarments. She closed her eyes. “I’m really nervous.”
“Come here,” he whispered. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her shirt down over her arms. Her breathing was rapid and shallow. “You’re gonna have to do the bra too,” Brad said, bringing his hands to cup her breasts through the lacy fabric.
She nodded and unfastened it. When it fell to the floor, Brad hooked his thumbs in the band of her sensible bikini panties and moved them down her hips. It took every ounce of her resolve to keep from covering herself with her hands.
His breath hitched in his throat when he tried to speak. “Oh my god. You are so beautiful. So sexy,” he murmured. He reached out and touched her arms, letting his palms run downward. He moaned at the softness of her skin. When his palms reached her hips, he moved them to the small of her back. He moved them lower, feeling her tense in his arms as he cupped her buttocks.
“Relax,” he whispered, pulling her close to kiss her.
When his cock touched her belly for the first time, Judy jumped and giggled. “Oh! I guess I wasn’t expecting that,” she said.
“Did ya think I left it in the car?” he asked. She couldn’t see the twinkle in his eye in the dark.
“I just didn’t think it would be sticking out like that. And you’re all wet. I forgot about the leaky stuff. It’s been a long time.” She sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe I forgot you were naked,” she said. She reached down and wrapped her hand around his cock, letting it slide along her palm.
Brad flinched at the feel of her cold hand against his skin. “Oh my god. Your hand is freezing.”
“I know. I’m so nervous. My hands are like ice.”
“C’mon. Let’s get in your bed so you can relax and warm up,” he said.