Between the Sheets
A fictional transcript of a fictional radio show on a fictional satellite radio station. Actress Tessa Tayes tells the Beau Stewart Show about the time a neighbor watched her pleasuring herself while hanging laundry.
The B.S. Show on Channel 387, with host, Beau Steward and his assistant, Nick White.
The following is the transcript of the, Beau Stewart's interview with Tessa Tayes, star of the new romantic comedy, Between the Sheets. July 14, 2014.
(B.S. Show Theme Music)
Beau: Moving right along . . . Nick, introduce our next guest.
Nick: OK. Today we have Tessa Tayes, here to promote her new movie, Between the Sheets.
Beau: So, it's a porno, right?
Nick: My card says romantic comedy. Sounds like a porno though, doesn't it?
Beau: Maybe it's a funny porno. Maybe it's full of fart jokes and jiggling boobies.
Nick: Let's ask her, 'cause here she comes. Tessa Tayes, ladies and gentlemen, star of the new porno-comedy, Between the Sheets.
Beau: (smooch) OK, Tessa. Hi. Welcome to the B.S. Show. This is your first time, right?
Tessa: Hi. Thank you. Yes, this is my first time on your show.
Nick: WE'RE DEFLOWERING A VIRGIN! (applause sound effect)
Beau: Careful there. It's a high stool. Yeah. Tuck your legs in like that. You got some nice legs there, Tessa.
Tessa: Umm . . . Thanks. I'm a little nervous. Thank you.
Beau: It's great to have you. I have to tell you. We're looking forward to hearing about this porno-comedy.
Tessa: Porno-comedy? (giggle) I don't think—
Beau: Yeah. Between the Sheets. Says it right here on the card. So tell us . . . No . . . I gotta tell you. Your breasts are much bigger in the movies than in person.
Tessa: Hey! (giggle)
Nick: Yeah, they were fuckin' huge in that other movie. What's it called?
Tessa: Do you mean The Grass is Greener? Why are we talking about—
Nick: Yeah. That's it.
Beau: Oh yeah. Your tits were huge in that movie.
Tessa: (giggle) Can we talk about my new movie—
Beau: Were you enhanced for that one?
Tessa: What? No. That was all me, but I wasn't even topless in that one. Why are we talking—
Beau: You've heard my show before, right? We always talk about tits.
Nick: And asses. We talk about asses too.
Beau: Yeah. We like asses. Anyway, Tessa. Tell us about the porno-comedy.
Tessa: It's not a porno, Beau. It's just a regular romantic comedy. I don't know why you keep saying that. (giggle)
Beau: Between the Sheets. How can it not be a porno? You can't tell me that every male that sees that title isn't gonna assume that it's a porno.
Tessa: Really? You really think that? It's not even Rated R.
Beau: You thought it, right Nick?
Nick: Of course, I did. How could you think otherwise?